We spoke about how to quieten the body in emotionally intense moments. Now we work out way up to the mind. (Leaving the heart, the most important for last)
The mind holds important information.
Eg. Context
So we want to try access the mind.
Eg. You can say no or you can say no creatively. How you say no? You can say no and yes at the same time…creating more choices. Maybe I can see the other side…Maybe it’s ok if my daughter is out. It’s good for her…
There are 3 parts of our mind that is helpful to access:
1. MEMORY
We remember different parts of the relationship. My husband forgot flowers but maybe he has bought flowers in the past? My child had overcome challenges before. Memory of good and bad conversations…it didn’t work last time I reacted this way…memory of what’s important to me.
*The Picture Album*
I remember hearing a powerful idea from Lori Polatnick that I’ll never forget.
She said to keep a ‘picture album’ in your mind of times when you loved your spouse so much! (or any person in your life)
Then, when you might not feel that love so strongly (or you have quite the opposite feelings!), pull our the ‘picture album’ to remind yourself how important this person is to you
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