Addiction issues in Marriage: A Psychologist’s Perspective

Addiction issues in Marriage: A Psychologist’s Perspective

Addiction problems can have devastating consequences in a marriage. Intimacy and trust can be affected; strong and supportive communication may become strained; the emotional health of both spouses may be adversely affected. It is important to identify and address addiction before it becomes a destructive affliction to the marital relationship.

The concept of addiction can encompass many areas, such as substance use disorders, food addiction, gambling, sex, and love addiction. Whatever the form of addiction, it can greatly affect the marriage. While addiction is a clinical illness, treatment needs to involve both the individual and the couple, as the couple is impacted repeatedly over time.

When a spouse or partner is struggling with addiction, the other partner might feel emotionally overwhelmed. They may experience feelings such as confusion, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, and guilt. Habits of codependency can surface, such as denial of the problem, or blaming oneself for the addiction problem. It is vital for each partner to examine how his or her own behavior and thought patterns might be contributing to the problem, as well as identifying the positive changes that need to be made in order to begin healing.

Addiction can lead to individual and marital distress. Burdens such as financial hardship, lies, broken promises, and lack of communication are all likely to occur with an untreated addiction in the marriage. Without appropriate treatment, spouses might resort to unhealthy coping strategies, such as avoidance or avoidance of contact, with the addicted partner, leading to further distress and conflict.

When partners address their addiction issues together, they will likely feel that they are also becoming stronger together. Both partners can learn to become more open and direct in communication and begin to break down the walls of resentment and shame that often accompany addiction. With an understanding of how addiction affects both partners, new approaches to behavior and communication can be developed.

Couples therapy is recommended for couples dealing with addiction issues in their marriage. A trained professional can help couples communicate feelings and needs, process differences and develop deeper trust. Using a family systems approach, the therapist can help partners identify patterns that are contributing to the problem, and build healthy alternative communication skills.

In addition to couples therapy, individuals in the marriage can seek out their own individual counseling to better understand their own addiction and the individual and marital impact. Seeking outside help can be a first step in addressing the addiction, and it is important for both partners to take responsibility for their individual needs, as well as their relationships needs.

Addiction problems in marriage can create long-lasting and damaging consequences. However, with awareness and understanding, spouses can begin to rebuild the relationship and find a healthier way of living together.

Recommended Reading:

-Laurie Ashbaugh, “Understanding Addiction in Marriage: A Step-by-Step Marriage Guide”

-Patrick J. Carnes, “The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships”

-Robin B. Laba, “The Impact of Addiction on Intimacy: How to Rebuild Trust and Restore Intimacy After an Addiction”

-Stanton Peele and Ilse Thompson, “Recover! Stop Thinking Like an Addict with the PERFECT Program”

-Christopher Kennedy Lawford, “Recovery: A Memoir”

-John Schwartz, “Breaking the Cycle of Addiction: Improving the Effectiveness of Chemical Dependency Treatment”