Unmet Expectations in Marriage: What They Are and How to Address Them

Unmet expectations in marriage can derail a relationship, leading to tension, arguments, and even divorce. Whether it is miscommunication or ambivalence, couples can struggle to find common ground and come to agreements on things such as finances, religion, and/or lifestyle choices. The good news is that help is available and there are ways to address such issues before they become too big to ignore.

What are Unmet Expectations in Marriage?

Unmet expectations in marriage occur when one or both partners have an expectation of the other which has not been met. These expectations can be conscious or subconscious and vary for different couples. Examples of unmet expectations may include a husband expecting his wife to never go out with her friends and a wife expecting her husband to take her out on a date. Unmet expectations in marriage can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, misunderstanding and even lack of trust.

How to Address Unmet Expectations

The first step in addressing unmet expectations in marriage is communication. Open, honest and clear communication is important in any relationship and is key when addressing unmet expectations. Couples should spend time discussing their individual wants and needs as well as what they can or cannot accommodate in their relationship.

It is also important to be aware of your own biases. If you find yourself expecting something from your partner which may not be realistic, it is important to reflect on why you have such an expectation. This reflection can help you and your partner be more understanding of each other and come to a compromise.

Additionally, couples should focus on building a strong emotional connection with each other. Having a strong relationship foundation is important in any marriage and can help couples better address issues such as unmet expectations. Activities such as spending quality time with each other and actively listening to each other can lead to a deeper understanding of each other.

Seeking Professional Help

In some cases, couples may need additional help in addressing unmet expectations in marriage. Keeping the lines of communication open and working together can help, but for more deeper and complex issues, professional help may be necessary. Devora Levy, Life Coach, is an excellent resource for couples struggling with unmet expectations in marriage. She specializes in supporting and guiding couples who are struggling with various issues, such as unmet expectations, communication difficulties and financial concerns.


Unmet expectations in marriage can lead to tension, misunderstandings and even divorce, but couples can take steps to address these issues. Communication, understanding and building a strong emotional connection are all important steps in addressing and resolving unmet expectations in marriage. However, if these steps are not enough, know that there are professionals who can provide additional help, such as Devora Levy, Life Coach.