We are entering the powerful and spiritually enriching month of Elul.

The month of Elul, leading up to Rosh Hashana, our Jewish New Year, is traditionally known as a time when God is particularly close to His people, or as it says in Chassidut, “The King is in the Field.” This is not just a metaphor; it is an invitation to each of us to step forward, to come closer, and to rekindle our relationship with the Divine.

What does this mean on a practical level?

In a world where many people feel lost, confused, and isolated—without our rock and our anchor—Elul offers us the opportunity to rediscover our spiritual compass. By turning towards Hashem and inviting His presence into our lives, we allow Him to be our Rock, our Shelter, our Comfort, our Guide, and our Compass, helping us regain direction and support in our lives.

This is the month when Hashem is so close, so available to every individual. It is a time to connect to Him, not just in a superficial sense, but in a way that transforms our very being. As the Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches:

“In the month of Elul, every Jew has the capacity to connect with Hashem in a way that transcends all barriers. This is a time to awaken the heart and draw close with sincerity.”

This closeness is not automatic; it requires effort on our part. We must take steps to open our hearts and minds to the Divine presence. Perhaps we can make a commitment to take ten minutes of quiet time every day. During those moments, we can contemplate Hashem’s deep love for us and reflect on how He eagerly awaits our prayers, even when our lives feel clouded and uncertain. These moments of reflection can become the foundation upon which we build a more profound relationship with God.

As we engage in this spiritual work, it is also essential to examine our behaviors and traits that might be preventing us from achieving closeness to Him. The Baal Shem Tov taught that in the month of Elul, every Jew should take stock of their soul and make an honest assessment of their spiritual state. We can ask Hashem to help us transcend our limitations, sharing our struggles with Him while envisioning a future where we overcome them. This process is not about self-criticism, but about self-improvement and growth.

Elul is also a time of awe and, understandably, some fear, because as the day of judgment approaches, we wonder about the year ahead: Who will live, who will die? Who will be blessed, who will know sorrow? Who will experience joy and success, and who will have to struggle? These questions remind us of the seriousness of the time, but they also inspire us to take action, to pray, to give charity, and to do good deeds that can help shape a positive future.

“The paradox of Elul is that it is both a time of closeness and awe—a time when we are small in our humility but great in our connection to Hashem.” — The Lubavitcher Rebbe

True humility is feeling small before Hashem’s greatness, yet simultaneously feeling immense because of our deep connection to Him. This duality—this balance between awe and love—is what makes Elul such a unique and powerful time.

Only Hashem knows what will be. Only He knows what’s best for each of us. But as it says: “Through our prayers, repentance, and acts of charity and kindness, we can help turn bitter decrees into good ones.” This is not just a hopeful saying; it is a spiritual truth. When we align our actions with God’s will, we become partners in the process of creation, helping to bring more light and goodness into the world.

Another way we can ensure a good judgment is by showing mercy to and judging others favorably. If we don’t get angry or judge others harshly, we pray that Hashem will deal with us likewise. The way we treat others is a reflection of how we see ourselves and our relationship with God. By cultivating compassion and understanding, we not only improve our relationships with others but also deepen our connection with Hashem.

A Powerful Practice from the Arizal

According to the teachings of the Arizal, it is considered a powerful spiritual practice (segula) to recite Tehillim 27 (כ׳ז) twice daily starting from Rosh Chodesh Elul (1 Elul) up to Simchat Torah. It can be said once in the morning and once at mincha, or once in the morning and once at arvit, or simply twice consecutively.

Tehillim 27 mentions Hashem’s name—the name used when referring to Hashem as being merciful (י-ה-ו-ה, numerical value 26)—thirteen times. By saying it twice, Hashem’s name is repeated a total of 26 times. We are requesting Hashem’s mercy 26 times (the numerical value equivalent to Hashem’s name for mercy) during the most auspicious month to ask for Hashem’s compassion.

This simple practice can draw down an abundance of blessings for the new year and give each of us the confidence to believe that Hashem is always with us. From the moment we put our trust in Him, all gates open. As the Rebbe once remarked:

“When a Jew turns to Hashem with sincerity, even the gates of Heaven cannot remain closed.”

May this month bring you abundant blessings and success in every way!

Here are 19 practical tips to help you bring more happiness and fulfillment into your life.

1. Make Joy a Priority

It all starts with a decision. Make joy a goal, something you actively work toward. When you prioritize joy, you’ll begin to see opportunities to cultivate it in your daily life.

2. Recognize That Joy Takes Work

Joy isn’t always spontaneous—it often requires effort. Understanding that joy is something you can build over time helps you appreciate the process of working toward it.

3. Be Present and Engaged

Mindfulness plays a big role in happiness. Try to stay present and fully invested in whatever you’re doing. Being present allows you to appreciate the moment instead of worrying about the past or future.

4. Explore Wisdom and Learning

Engaging with wisdom—whether through Torah study, philosophy, or personal growth—can guide you to a deeper sense of purpose and joy. Ancient wisdom often holds the keys to a fulfilling life.

5. Let Go of Guilt

Carrying guilt from past mistakes can weigh you down. Living joyfully means learning to forgive yourself, move on, and focus on what you can do better today.

6. Allow Yourself to Feel

Joy doesn’t mean you’re always happy. A full, rich life includes the entire spectrum of emotions. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment—emotions are part of being human.

7. Accept Yourself and Your Circumstances

Joy often starts with self-acceptance. Embrace who you are right now, without waiting for things to “get better.” Joy comes from appreciating the present, even as you grow.

8. Do Acts of Kindness

Kindness toward others is one of the fastest ways to bring more joy into your life. Small acts of kindness create positive energy and strengthen your sense of connection.

9. Connect with Your Inner Self

Deep within each of us is an unblemished, pure soul. Taking time to identify with your true, unshakable essence gives you strength and helps you connect to a source of unending joy.

10. Use Positive Mantras

Negativity can be powerful, but so can positivity. Develop short, uplifting mantras like “This too shall pass” or “I’ve got this” to reset your mindset quickly.

11. Practice Thought Awareness

Recognize that negative thoughts don’t define you. They pass like clouds in the sky. Practicing awareness helps you avoid getting bogged down by negativity.

12. Channel Your Emotions Through Prayer

Even if you’re not religious, prayer—or simply setting an intention—helps direct your emotions toward purpose and clarity. It’s a healthy way to release what’s on your mind.

13. Strengthen Your Relationships

Relationships with friends, family, and partners are deep sources of joy. Strengthen them through communication, empathy, and kindness. A supportive network amplifies happiness.

14. Meditate on Love

Reflect on the love around you—whether from friends, family, or God. Focusing on love enhances gratitude and brings inner peace.

15. Take Care of Your Body

Physical health directly impacts emotional well-being. Eat nourishing foods, sleep well, and move your body regularly. When your body thrives, your joy deepens.

16. Be Kind to Yourself

Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a loved one. If you’re struggling, ask for help. There’s strength in vulnerability and care.

17. Counteract Negative Self-Talk

Catch yourself when you’re being overly critical. Replace harsh thoughts with gentler, more realistic ones. You are your own lifelong companion—speak kindly to yourself.

18. Spend Time Alone

Solitude offers space for reflection and clarity. Journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in silence helps you reconnect with your inner calm.

19. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude changes everything. Acknowledge the blessings in your life—big and small. Gratitude shifts your perspective and invites joy into every moment.

Conclusion: Joy isn’t about perfection or a life free of challenge—it’s about appreciating the beauty of each moment and embracing the journey. By applying even a few of these mindful habits, you can open your heart to greater happiness and fulfillment every day.

As Pesach approaches, we often find ourselves in a whirlwind of physical preparations, cleaning every corner of our homes, removing every crumb of chametz. But, as Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi so beautifully teaches, the real challenge lies not only in the dirt and clutter but in our mouths and our hearts. This is a time when we must be extraordinarily cautious with our speech, for we are under the influence of Pharaoh, whose very name contains the Hebrew words “פה רע” – an evil mouth. It is not merely the physical crumbs that weigh us down, but the careless words and thoughts that can corrupt our inner sanctuaries.

The Power of the Mouth in Nisan

Rabbi Pincus explains that Nisan is the month of rebirth, paralleling the birth of a child. Just as a newborn enters the world with a closed navel and an open mouth, we too are spiritually reborn during this time. However, as we open our mouths, we risk falling into arguments, complaints, and negativity. We forget all the wisdom we’ve acquired, letting the stress of Pesach overwhelm us.

How do we reclaim control? Through our speech. By consciously choosing to speak well, to daven, and to express gratitude, we reshape our reality. Rabbanit Yemima suggests a beautiful, simple practice: sing “Ma Nishtana” throughout the week leading up to Pesach. This small act can reduce tension and cultivate a sense of peace. Singing can shift the atmosphere in your home, infusing it with joy and mindfulness.

Rosh Chodesh Nisan: A Time of Renewal

On Rosh Chodesh Nisan, we ask for growth and greatness, just as the moon waxes and wanes. The Kiddush Levana prayer reminds us to ask for wholeness, for light in our lives, and for Hashem to heal us from our wounds, both physical and emotional. As women, we are invited to pray not only for material blessings like jewelry and new clothes for the chag but also for beauty—inner beauty, the kind that shines through when we feel connected to ourselves, our families, and to God.

Rabbanit Yemima emphasizes the notion of royalty during this month. Rosh Chodesh Nisan is the new year for kings, and we are encouraged to ask for our own personal malchut (sovereignty). It’s not just about ruling others, but about mastering ourselves—our impulses, our desires, and the chaos around us.

Spiritual Cleaning: Making Space for Redemption

Pesach cleaning can feel overwhelming, but it’s also an opportunity for deep spiritual work. Just as we rid our homes of chametz, we can rid ourselves of emotional clutter. The extra possessions we hold onto, the things we think we “might need someday,” often drain our energy. Rabbanit Yemima reminds us: “If the article of clothing gets no use, it has no life force, and it starts to suck it from you.” It’s a powerful metaphor for the way unneeded objects—and unresolved emotions—sap our vitality.

By decluttering our homes, we make space for something new. Pesach isn’t just about removing chametz; it’s about creating an environment where new life, new ideas, and new blessings can enter. This is especially true for women. When we clean, we’re not just fighting dirt—we’re making room for redemption.

The Love in Overdoing It

One of the most comforting insights from Rabbanit Yemima is her perspective on “overdoing it.” Yes, women tend to go overboard in their Pesach preparations. We clean places where no chametz could logically be hiding, and we stress over details that may seem excessive. But this, she explains, is a form of love. When women “overdo it,” we are expressing our deep devotion to the mitzvah. It’s the same kind of love that led the women in Egypt to insist on having children, even in the darkest times. It’s the same love that led them to donate endlessly to the building of the Mishkan.

This love, this overdoing, is not a burden—it’s our gift.

Gratitude as You Clean

As we scrub and scour, it’s easy to lose sight of the holiness in our efforts. Rabbanit Yemima encourages us to transform the way we approach our cleaning. With every corner we dust, every closet we declutter, we should be offering prayers and expressing gratitude. Thank Hashem for every possession, every room, and every small detail in your life. Pray that everything you have serves a higher purpose and brings you closer to Him.

Shabbat HaGadol: Love Over Fear

The Shabbat before Pesach is called Shabbat HaGadol, commemorating the great miracle that occurred when the Israelites publicly prepared their Pesach offerings without fear of Egyptian retaliation. But it also represents a spiritual shift. The Shabbat before Yom Kippur is rooted in fear (Yirah), but the Shabbat before Pesach is rooted in love (Ahavah). It’s a reminder that while fear can motivate us, love is what truly elevates us. As we enter Pesach, we are invited to serve Hashem out of love, not just obligation. This Shabbat gives us the spiritual energy we need to approach Pesach with joy and openness.

Conclusion

As we prepare for Pesach, let’s remember that our efforts, both physical and spiritual, are deeply intertwined. The cleaning, the cooking, the organizing—all of it is an opportunity for transformation. By watching our speech, decluttering our homes and hearts, and approaching our work with love, we create the space for redemption, for miracles, and for true freedom. May this Pesach bring us all closer to our inner malchut, and may we usher in a time of peace, joy, and growth.

Chodesh Tov and a joyful, meaningful Pesach to all!

Superstition is often defined as a belief or practice resulting from ignorance or fear of the unknown, or trust in magic or chance. It involves the notion that certain actions, objects, or events can influence outcomes in ways that defy logic or natural laws. By this definition, Judaism does not endorse superstition. Jewish belief and practice are rooted in Torah, which emphasizes faith in God and the power of our thoughts, prayers, and actions rather than in random or magical occurrences.

However, when it comes to Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, there is a strong tradition of recognizing the significance of our thoughts and actions, particularly because of their potential to influence the year ahead. This is not superstition, but rather a deep spiritual awareness of the power of beginnings. Rosh Hashanah is likened to the birth of mankind—a moment so sensitive that even the smallest occurrence can have a profound impact on the future. Just as the birth of a child sets the foundation for their entire life, the actions and intentions we set on Rosh Hashanah are believed to shape the year to come.

The Significance of Good Omens on Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah is a time rich with symbolism and spiritual depth. It is the beginning of the Ten Days of Repentance, a period dedicated to introspection and renewal that culminates in Yom Kippur. Central to the observance of Rosh Hashanah is the concept of siman tov—a good sign. During this time, we engage in symbolic acts, such as eating certain foods that carry positive connotations, like apples dipped in honey for a sweet year, to invite blessings into our lives for the coming year.

The focus on good omens during Rosh Hashanah highlights the importance of beginnings. Beginnings are not merely the start of something new; they serve as the foundation for everything that follows. Rabbi Leff explains that just as a building’s foundation must be strong and pure to support the structure above, so too must the beginning of our year be anchored in positive, holy actions. The way we approach Rosh Hashanah, with mindfulness and intention, sets the spiritual tone for the entire year.

Practical Tips for Rosh Hashanah Intentions

To help navigate these spiritually charged days, here are some practical tips inspired by Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, a beloved teacher and spiritual guide:

1. Guard Your Emotions

• Anger: If someone becomes angry on Rosh Hashanah, it is considered a bad sign for the entire year. Maintaining a calm and positive demeanor is crucial.
• Happiness: Strive to be joyful during the two days of Rosh Hashanah (except during the shofar blowing, when it’s appropriate to cry). Every expression during Rosh Hashanah sets the tone for the year ahead.

2. Weather as an Omen

The Sages teach that the weather on Rosh Hashanah can indicate the weather for the whole year. A warm day may suggest a warm year, while a cooler day might imply a cooler year ahead.

3. Rise Early

The Sages emphasize the importance of waking up early on Rosh Hashanah. This sets a precedent for a year filled with energy, accomplishments, and strength. Sleeping late on this day is seen as a bad omen for the rest of the year.

4. Avoid Worry

Worrisome thoughts are particularly discouraged on Rosh Hashanah. If you find yourself worrying, try to distract your mind with something light-hearted, like thinking of your favorite food or a new outfit. The key is to stay positive.

5. Mind Your Words and Thoughts

Our words and thoughts on Rosh Hashanah carry significant weight. Some people avoid eating fish because the word “dag” (fish) resembles “d’agah” (worry). Others avoid nuts because the word for nut, “egoz,” shares the same numerical value as “chet” (sin). Be mindful of the associations your thoughts and words might carry.

6. Control and Direct Your Desires

On Rosh Hashanah, it is essential to control and direct your desires toward positive, holy actions. This day sets the spiritual tone for the entire year.

Intentions During the Shofar Blowing

• The Sacrifice of Abraham: Reflect on the great sacrifice that Abraham was willing to make for God. Pray that in this merit, God will show mercy to you and all of Israel.
• Receiving Life Through the Shofar: Visualize God breathing life into you for the new year through the sound of the shofar. Imagine a new soul entering you, full of potential and renewal.
• Love Your Neighbor: Before the shofar blowing, make a commitment to love everyone around you. This is crucial because how can we ask God to overlook our faults if we cannot do the same for others?
• Crying During the Blasts: If tears come during the shofar blasts, embrace them. They are a powerful sign that your soul is being rectified. Wipe your face with these tears, as they are believed to protect you from harm throughout the year.

Embrace the Discomfort of Transformation

Rabbi Kellerman suggests that during Rosh Hashanah, we should accept the discomfort that comes with spiritual transformation. This process is not always easy, but it is necessary for true growth.

Trust and Let Go

Rabbi Shimshon Pinkus of blessed memory advises against forcing a particular mood or emotion during the prayers. Instead, focus on the simple meaning of the words and allow natural emotions to flow. Trust in God and surrender to His will, knowing that everything is in His hands, even the smallest details of your day.

A Year of Blessings

Rosh Hashanah is a time of immense spiritual potential. By approaching these days with mindfulness, positivity, and a commitment to setting the right tone, we can influence the course of our entire year. May your Rosh Hashanah be filled with blessings, and may the coming year bring you and all of Israel health, happiness, and peace.

Shanah Tovah Umetukah — May you be blessed with a good and sweet new year.

Rosh Hashanah is more than just a celebration of the Jewish New Year—it’s a time of reflection, renewal, and a powerful opportunity to realign with your higher self. For a young, secular audience, these affirmations can be a guide to embracing this special time with intention, even if the traditional rituals and prayers feel distant. Let’s explore the deeper meaning behind each affirmation and how they can resonate with anyone seeking personal growth and spiritual connection.

1. I am ready to accept God as my King. My heart is filled with love for Him.

Rosh Hashanah is the day we crown God as our King. This isn’t just about acknowledging a higher power; it’s about recognizing a source of love and guidance that transcends the everyday. In Chabad Chassidut, it’s taught that the relationship with God is deeply personal, filled with love and reverence. The Tanya explains that God’s love for us is infinite and unconditional, and by accepting Him as King, we open our hearts to this love, creating space for spiritual growth and guidance in our lives.

2. God is all good and knows what’s best for me. He loves me so deeply. I am open to receiving His blessings.

This affirmation is about trust—trusting that the universe has your back, even when life feels uncertain. Chabad teachings emphasize that everything that happens, whether perceived as good or bad, is ultimately for our benefit. The Tanya explains that God’s goodness is inherent in every aspect of our lives, even when it’s hidden from us. By embracing this belief, you become open to the abundance and blessings that life has to offer, knowing that you are deeply loved and cared for.

3. I am ready to start fresh, like a new baby. My future doesn’t depend on my past. This is a new beginning. I believe I can be totally new.

Rosh Hashanah is known as the “birthday of the world,” a time when creation is renewed. This is a moment to let go of the past and embrace the possibility of a fresh start. The idea of teshuvah (repentance) in Judaism is about returning to your pure, original self, unburdened by past mistakes. Chabad philosophy teaches that every moment offers a new opportunity to become who you are truly meant to be. You are not defined by your past; each Rosh Hashanah gives you the chance to recreate yourself anew.

4. I am ready to transform into my higher self.

Transformation is at the heart of Rosh Hashanah. This is the time to envision the best version of yourself and take steps toward becoming that person. In Chassidic thought, the soul is seen as a “part of God above,” meaning you have a divine essence that is constantly seeking expression. Imagining your higher self is not just a wishful thought; it’s a way to tap into your deepest potential and align your actions with your true purpose.

5. Whatever my relationship with Hashem had been until now, I am ready to accept a whole new level of relating.

Relationships, including your relationship with the divine, are dynamic and ever-changing. Rosh Hashanah is the perfect time to reassess and deepen this connection. Whether you’ve felt distant or close, this is your opportunity to renew your relationship with God. The Tanya teaches that our connection with God is an ongoing journey, and each year we have the chance to elevate it to new heights.

6. I am part of my nation, deeply connected to all Jews. I love all Jews. I only want good for others, and to think good of others. I want us all to play our individual roles in the big picture.

Unity is a key theme during the High Holy Days. This affirmation reminds you that you are part of something larger—a community, a nation, a collective mission. The concept of “Ahavat Yisrael” (love for fellow Jews) is central in Chabad teachings. By loving and supporting each other, we fulfill a divine purpose and contribute to the overall harmony and mission of the Jewish people.

7. I feel the pain of those I know and don’t know who are going through suffering and need salvation from Hashem.

Compassion is a powerful force. Rosh Hashanah is a time to empathize with the struggles of others and to pray for their well-being. The teachings of Chabad emphasize the importance of caring for others as an expression of our own divine nature. When you feel the pain of others, you are connecting with the broader human experience and fulfilling the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself.

8. I am a messenger of Hashem, a partner in creation, ready to receive all the gifts to help me in my quest.

You are here for a purpose. Rosh Hashanah is a reminder that you have a unique mission in this world. The Tanya teaches that each soul is sent into the world with a specific task to fulfill, and God provides the tools and opportunities needed to accomplish it. This affirmation helps you recognize your role as a partner in creation, ready to embrace the gifts and challenges that come your way.

9. I am both so small and so proud. I am ready to submit to the will of the great God that I am a part of. I feel awe and joy simultaneously.

Humility and pride coexist in a healthy spiritual life. On Rosh Hashanah, we recognize our smallness in the vastness of the universe while also taking pride in our unique role within it. Chabad philosophy teaches that true humility is not about feeling insignificant but about acknowledging your place in the divine plan. This brings a deep sense of joy and fulfillment, knowing that you are both part of something much greater and essential to it.

10. I am deeply grateful for the past year of life with all its blessings and challenges.

Gratitude is a powerful practice, especially as you enter the new year. Reflecting on the past year, with all its highs and lows, allows you to appreciate the journey and the growth it brought. Chabad teachings emphasize that every experience is an opportunity for learning and spiritual growth. By cultivating gratitude, you open yourself up to receive more blessings in the coming year.

11. I feel a deep connection to the Creator of the world who created me with love. I am ready to move forward with trust, love, and joy.

This final affirmation brings it all together—trust, love, and joy in your relationship with the Creator. The Tanya teaches that God’s love for us is boundless, and our task is to reciprocate that love by living with trust and joy. As you move into the new year, carry this sense of connection and purpose with you, allowing it to guide your actions and decisions.

Conclusion

Rosh Hashanah is a time of renewal, reflection, and transformation. These affirmations are not just words; they are powerful tools to help you align with your highest self and embrace the new year with intention and purpose. By understanding the deeper meanings behind these affirmations, rooted in Chabad teachings and the Tanya, you can create a Rosh Hashanah experience that is meaningful, fulfilling, and transformative.

May your Rosh Hashanah be filled with clarity, peace, and the courage to grow into your highest self.

Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of the Jewish year, a time rich with significance and spiritual opportunity. It’s not just the start of a new calendar year, but a moment to lay the foundation for everything that follows. On this day, Jews around the world focus on positive omens, partake in symbolic foods, and strive to maintain a joyous and hopeful mood. This is because every action on Rosh Hashanah sets the tone for the entire year.

The concept of beginnings holds profound importance in Torah. We are commanded to dedicate all our “firsts” to Hashem—whether it’s the first shearings of wool, the first of the dough, or the firstborn of man and animal. Rabbi Zev Leff explains that the importance of these “firsts” lies not in their quality alone, but in their role as the root and foundation of all that follows. Just as a building’s foundation must be flawless to ensure the structure’s integrity, so too must the beginnings in our spiritual lives be pure and holy, for any imperfection at the root will magnify as it grows.

The Torah’s focus on firsts underscores the power of a good beginning. For instance, when Rabbi Chiya sought to reintroduce Torah learning in a generation where it had been forgotten, he didn’t just teach Torah directly. He began by planting flax, which he then used to create nets to catch deer. He wrote the Five Books of the Torah on the skins of those deer and traveled from town to town, teaching Torah to small groups of boys, who would then teach others. This meticulous attention to the foundation—starting from scratch, with pure intentions—ensured that the Torah would be established in a manner that was holy and enduring.

Rosh Hashanah is also the beginning of the Ten Days of Repentance, leading up to Yom Kippur. During this time, it is customary to be more stringent in observance of mitzvot, a practice that might seem puzzling at first. Are we trying to deceive Hashem into believing we are more pious than we are? The answer lies in understanding that Rosh Hashanah is not just the start of the year, but the reishit hashanah—the root and foundation of the year. Each of these ten days must be treated as a first, dedicated to Hashem with utmost purity and holiness. These extra stringencies are not for show but are intended to build a strong spiritual foundation that will support us throughout the year.

Focusing on Perfection: The Key to True Teshuvah

Interestingly, Rosh Hashanah is not a day for focusing on our sins. Instead, it’s a time to establish a deep connection with Hashem, to envision the world as it could be in its perfected state. Rabbi Leff teaches that Hashem, who is perfect, created an imperfect world where His presence is often hidden. Our role is to reveal Hashem’s presence within this world, thereby connecting to Him and contributing to its perfection.

In Judaism, quality is often valued over quantity. For example, we make a blessing over a small, whole roll rather than a large, broken loaf of bread. This focus on wholeness over size emphasizes the importance of purity and completeness in our service to Hashem. Rosh Hashanah comes before Yom Kippur because it’s essential to first recognize and connect with the ideal of perfection—both in the world and within ourselves. Only after we have a clear vision of this perfection can we truly engage in the process of teshuvah, or repentance.

On Rosh Hashanah, we are like newborn infants, untainted by sin. We focus on the connection, the love, and the perfection that comes from aligning ourselves with Hashem’s will. This vision of a perfect world, where everything is unified under Hashem’s kingship, sets the stage for the teshuvah process that follows. By understanding what perfection looks like, we can better appreciate the imperfections we need to correct, leading us to sincere repentance and spiritual growth.

The Tanya, a foundational text of Chabad Chassidus, emphasizes the importance of this connection and the joy it brings. In Chapter 31, the Alter Rebbe writes, “When a person is sad or worried, he is like someone who is locked in prison… but when a person experiences the joy of the soul, his soul is free, and it can soar and connect with Hashem.”

On Rosh Hashanah, by focusing on the positive and connecting deeply with Hashem, we free our souls, enabling them to rise above past mistakes and embrace the potential for a year of growth and holiness.

Conclusion

Rosh Hashanah is not just the beginning of the year; it’s the foundation upon which the entire year is built. By dedicating our firsts to Hashem, by focusing on positive connections, and by envisioning the world in its perfected state, we set the stage for true spiritual growth. As the Gemara teaches, “From a good beginning comes good.” With a strong foundation rooted in holiness, the entire year can be filled with blessing and success.

May this Rosh Hashanah usher in a year of clarity, renewal, and connection—with ourselves, with others, and with Hashem.

We all have traits that we don’t love—traits that might even embarrass us. Whether it’s a quick temper, a tendency to procrastinate, or a habit of being overly critical, these aspects of ourselves often seem so ingrained that we accept them as part of our personality. Over time, we might even stop trying to change them, convincing ourselves that they are simply “who we are.” But is this acceptance always the healthiest approach?

While self-acceptance is crucial for maintaining self-esteem and mental health, there is a fine line between accepting ourselves and resigning ourselves to aspects of our personality that cause harm. Ignoring these less desirable traits can lead to a lack of honesty with ourselves and may result in self-sabotage, missed opportunities, or even pain for ourselves and others.

The Importance of Facing Our Flaws

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean ignoring our flaws; it means acknowledging them without judgment and committing to personal growth. By not facing these less-than-desirable traits, we deny ourselves the chance to grow. Moreover, we might be inadvertently sabotaging our potential or causing harm in our relationships and life opportunities. Not confronting these traits can lead to a lack of integrity, both within ourselves and in our interactions with others.

Being honest with ourselves about our weaknesses is not easy, but it’s necessary. This process of soul-searching and self-examination is known in Jewish tradition as Cheshbon Hanefesh, or “accounting of the soul.” For centuries, Jews have engaged in this practice to enhance their personal growth and moral development.

What is Cheshbon Hanefesh?

Cheshbon Hanefesh is a traditional Jewish practice of self-reflection and moral inventory, dating back centuries. The term itself means “accounting of the soul,” and it involves taking a deep, honest look at one’s actions, thoughts, and behaviors to identify areas for improvement. This practice has been an integral part of Jewish spiritual life, particularly during the month of Elul, leading up to the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, when introspection and repentance are emphasized.

Historically, the concept was formalized in the classic Jewish text, Cheshbon Hanefesh, written by Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Satanov in the late 18th century. The book provides a guide for self-improvement, outlining steps to identify and correct personal flaws, thus helping individuals live more righteous and fulfilling lives.

Three Methods for Cheshbon Hanefesh

In a recent weekly Zoom session with Rebbetzin Tziporah Gottlieb, we learned three practical ways to engage in Cheshbon Hanefesh. These methods offer structured approaches to self-examination and personal growth.

Method 1: The Classical Approach

Step One: Identify Traits to Improve

Begin by identifying 2–4 traits you want to work on. The early sages often tackled up to 12 traits simultaneously, but it’s more manageable to start with a few. Choose traits that resonate with your sense of truth, compassion, mindfulness, or positivity.

• Cultivating honesty and integrity
• Becoming more compassionate
• Practicing mindfulness in daily behaviors
• Developing a more positive and optimistic outlook

Step Two: Research and Observe

Once you’ve identified the traits, research them. Observe your behavior throughout the day, noting when these traits are challenged. Reflect on how these traits impact your life, or discuss your observations with a mentor or trusted friend.

• How does this trait manifest in my daily life?
• What impact does it have on my relationships and personal growth?
• How would improving this trait change my life for the better?

Step Three: Create a Personal Mantra

Develop a personal mantra or sentence that encapsulates your commitment to improving each trait. This mantra should be something that resonates deeply with you, serving as a reminder of your goals.

• “I am committed to living a life of honesty and integrity.”
• “My heart is open to compassion and understanding.”
• “I choose to focus on the good in every situation.”
• “I am mindful of my actions and their impact.”
• “Positivity and optimism guide my thoughts and actions.”

Step Four: Implementing Change

Use a notebook to track your progress. Write down your selected traits and review them every morning. Throughout the day, keep the mantra in mind, and at night, record your reflections on how you adhered to your goals. Rotate the traits each week, allowing yourself to focus on different aspects of personal growth over time.

Method 2: The Social Approach

Find a friend or a small group of friends to share this journey with. Meet weekly—whether in person, over the phone, or on Zoom—to discuss your progress. Encourage and support each other, creating a sense of accountability. It’s important to ensure privacy within the group, so everyone feels safe sharing their experiences.

Method 3: Making God Your Mentor

Carve out a specific time each morning to speak with God about your progress, challenges, and goals. This method fosters a deep sense of connection and accountability to a higher power. While some may find this method difficult, those who do embrace it often experience a profound sense of divine presence and guidance throughout their day.

Rebbetzin Gottlieb recommends starting with five minutes each morning and gradually increasing the time as needed. However, she advises not to exceed half an hour, as the quality of the time spent is more important than the quantity.

A Slightly Different Approach: Reflecting on Your Life’s Timeline

Another method to identify traits for improvement is to reflect on your life’s timeline. Divide your life into segments (early childhood, late childhood, early adulthood, etc.), and ask yourself the following questions:

• What are the most significant events I remember from this period?
• How did I respond at the time, without judgment?
• From my current perspective, are these the responses I would want to make in similar situations today?
• What was in it for me when I made good choices? What about when I made bad choices?

By answering these questions, you can identify patterns in your behavior and motivations, which will help you determine which traits to focus on for improvement.

The Power of Commitment and Consistency

Regardless of which method you choose, the key to success is commitment and consistency. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but with persistent effort, you will start to see positive results. Our innate desire to be good drives this transformation, compelling us to align our actions with our values.

However, the biggest challenge is maintaining this commitment. It’s easy to feel a sense of accomplishment after a few weeks and then lose momentum, only to slip back into old habits. The result of giving up too soon is that we miss out on the deeper, more lasting transformation that could have been achieved.

Soul searching and Cheshbon Hanefesh are powerful tools for personal growth and self-improvement. By honestly examining our flaws and committing to change, we can live more fulfilling lives and positively impact those around us. Whether through personal reflection, social accountability, or divine guidance, the path to becoming our best selves is within reach.

The journey may be challenging, but the rewards are immeasurable. Remember, the most important step is the first one—acknowledging the need for change and taking action. The rest will follow, one small step at a time.

May your journey of self-reflection lead to clarity, compassion, and a renewed sense of purpose.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, “Who is this person staring back at me?” As we journey through life, reaching milestones like 35, 45, 65, and beyond, it’s impossible not to notice the subtle—and sometimes not-so-subtle—changes in our bodies. Wrinkles form, hair grays, skin loses its elasticity, and new aches and pains seem to arise with each passing year. These changes often bring discomfort, both physical and emotional, leading us to question why God designed the aging process in such a way. Why must we confront these signs of mortality?

In a world obsessed with anti-aging, we are constantly bombarded with solutions to defy the natural process. Botox, cosmetic surgery, anti-wrinkle creams, hair dyes, and a multitude of other products promise to restore our youth. But amid this frenzy, we must ask ourselves: Can we truly defy aging? And even more importantly, do we really want to?

The Wisdom of Our Ancestors

The Torah offers deep insights into the human experience, including aging. While it doesn’t explicitly state that Abraham (Avraham) and Isaac (Yitzchak) looked the same, there is a fascinating Midrash that sheds light on this. According to Genesis Rabbah 65:10, people doubted that Isaac was truly Abraham’s son because they didn’t resemble each other. To address this, God made their faces look alike, ensuring that everyone would recognize Isaac as Abraham’s son. This Midrash highlights not only the physical connection between father and son but also the profound bond between generations.

My teacher and mentor, Rebbetzin Tziporah Gottlieb, taught me that the concept of aging itself is tied to another significant Midrash found in Bava Metzia 87a. The Midrash tells us that until Abraham’s time, people did not show visible signs of aging. Abraham, however, prayed to God for old age to be marked by physical signs, such as wrinkles and gray hair, so that people could distinguish between generations and show proper respect to the elderly. God granted this request, and Abraham became the first person to visibly age, as noted in the verse, “And Abraham was old, advanced in days” (Genesis 24:1). This passage is seen as the first mention of aging as a physical and visible process.

Rebbetzin Gottlieb recalls the old Oil of Olay advertisement that asked, “Which one is the mother, and which one is the daughter?” She humorously adds that it would be a dream for us if such confusion were possible—what a world it would be!

Aging with Dignity and Purpose

Judaism places enormous importance on respecting our elders, and the ability to distinguish between generations plays a crucial role in this. Yet, as Rebbetzin Gottlieb questioned, wouldn’t it make more sense if the process were reversed? Imagine if we began life with wrinkles, saggy skin, achy joints, and a hairline that’s seen better days (okay, this one might be more reality than imagination!), and as we gained wisdom and experience, our bodies grew firmer, stronger, and more beautiful. This reversal would symbolize the growth of our inner selves—our souls—over time.

However, there’s profound wisdom in the current design. While no one enjoys the physical discomfort and emotional pain that often accompanies aging, suffering has a way of knocking the pride out of us. It reminds us of our mortality and the impermanence of our physical bodies. Our changing bodies serve as a gentle nudge to focus more on our inner lives as we age—to value our souls, our good deeds, and our relationships more deeply.

Another aspect to consider is the beauty of interdependence that aging creates. In youth, we are often fiercely independent, but as we age, we may need to lean more on others for support. This dynamic fosters stronger family bonds and a sense of community, emphasizing the Jewish value of chesed (kindness). It’s a reminder that life is not meant to be lived in isolation but in connection with others, where the wisdom of the elderly is cherished, and the vigor of the young is appreciated.

Additionally, as we grow older, we become more aware of the legacy we are leaving behind. The physical signs of aging push us to think beyond the here and now, urging us to invest in relationships, mentorship, and acts of kindness that will endure long after we are gone. This aligns with the Jewish principle of Tikkun Olam, the idea that we are here to make the world a better place, and the true measure of our lives is not in how we look but in the impact we have on others.

As we grow older, these physical signs of aging can be seen as reminders of what truly matters. They invite us to prepare for a life where we will eventually shed our physical bodies altogether and live in a realm where only the soul endures.

Embracing the Process

While it’s certainly important to maintain our dignity as we age—whether through makeup, hair treatments, or other methods we feel comfortable with—it’s also crucial to question whether we are in denial about the aging process. Are we refusing to face our mortality? Each new wrinkle, gray hair, or other signs of aging can be a reminder of who we truly are, where we are headed, and what really matters in life.

Instead of resisting the aging process, we can embrace it. With each passing year, we grow more beautiful on the inside, where true beauty resides. The wrinkles and gray hairs become symbols of a life well-lived, rich with experience and wisdom. By focusing on the cultivation of our inner selves, we can age gracefully, with dignity, purpose, and a deep sense of peace.

In this way, the physical signs of aging are not to be feared or avoided, but rather embraced as part of the divine design—a reminder that our time here is finite and that what truly endures is not our outer appearance, but the legacy we leave behind through our actions, our kindness, and our love.

May we learn to wear our years with pride, our wrinkles with gratitude, and our lives with purpose.

In our journey as Jewish women, we often strive to connect deeply with ourselves and with God, finding meaning in our everyday lives. A powerful teaching from Rabbi YY Jacobson reminds us:

“Whatever is happening is exactly where God is. It’s all about our perception. Everything is exactly as it should be. And you can celebrate it… give yourself permission to find God where you are and not where you think you’re supposed to be. It doesn’t mean you’re not challenging yourself. It’s about growth from where you are, as opposed to from a place that doesn’t exist.”

This profound insight encourages us to approach life with honesty, humility, and authenticity. As women, we carry many responsibilities—caring for families, building careers, nurturing friendships—and amidst all of this, we often feel the pressure to be perfect. Yet, it is essential to recognize that we can serve our purpose right now, as we are. Our current selves—imperfect, striving, and real—are already vessels for growth and connection with God.

Embracing the Value of Struggles

Life’s challenges are not only real but profoundly meaningful. Our struggles shape us, challenge us, and lead to growth. Acknowledging the significance of these struggles allows us to live fully, even in the tough moments. Judaism teaches that every challenge is hand-picked by God to fit our unique needs, pushing us toward deeper resilience and faith.

In this light, our struggles become spiritual tools, offering opportunities for reflection, learning, and personal growth. Rather than viewing difficult times as setbacks, we can choose to see them as necessary steps in our personal and spiritual journey. Each struggle has the potential to bring us closer to our true selves and to God.

A Simple Yet Life-Changing Practice

Miriam Adahan, a well-known Jewish therapist, offers a powerful exercise for moments of self-doubt, especially as we navigate the complexities of modern life. When we feel inadequate, she suggests we remind ourselves:

“I am as [insert quality] as God wants me to be right now.”

Whether it’s smart, calm, patient, or kind, this affirmation shifts our mindset from self-criticism to self-compassion. This practice does not imply complacency. Rather, it invites a deeper acceptance of where we are, creating space for genuine growth. Harsh self-judgment often blocks progress, while self-compassion softens our hearts and opens us to the possibility of change. By learning to accept ourselves in the moment, we allow ourselves to evolve naturally, without the pressure of perfectionism.

The Power of Self-Compassion

Judaism emphasizes the importance of kindness, not just toward others but also toward ourselves. No one ever shamed themselves into becoming better. Self-compassion and love are the true catalysts for transformation. When we recognize that God created us with the exact strengths and weaknesses we need, we can begin to trust that we are equipped for whatever life presents us.

Life’s challenges are not random—they are divinely tailored for our growth. Understanding this empowers us to meet difficulties with grace and resilience. In moments of struggle, turning inward with kindness and reminding ourselves that we are doing our best can help us stay grounded.

Divine Support in Every Moment

The well-known adage, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right,” captures the essence of mindset. But as Jewish women, we know that when we think we can’t, we can turn to God for strength, because He certainly can. This belief fosters resilience and a deep sense of trust. We are never alone in our struggles; God is with us every step of the way.

Jewish wisdom teaches, “Who is the happy person? He who is satisfied with his lot.” This applies not only to material possessions but to our spiritual and emotional state as well. We can find joy and peace in how we are managing right now, even as we strive for more.

Finding the Balance: Contentment and Growth

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constant striving without ever feeling satisfied. Judaism encourages us to find a balance between contentment and ambition. We are both masterpieces and works in progress, and recognizing this dual nature can bring a sense of calm into our lives.

We are meant to strive for greatness, but we are also meant to trust that where we are at this moment is exactly where we need to be. This balance is not just a mindset but a spiritual practice that can guide us through every stage of life.

Letting Go of Guilt and Shame

One of the greatest barriers to spiritual growth is the weight of guilt and shame. Whether it’s regret over past mistakes or disappointment in our current struggles, these emotions can leave us feeling disconnected from God. But Jewish tradition reminds us that guilt and shame are illusions. God knows us better than we know ourselves—He understands our thoughts, our hearts, and our limitations. He loves us unconditionally, exactly as we are at this very moment.

When we invite God into our struggles, we allow for a deeper relationship to emerge. We don’t have to hide our imperfections from Him. Instead, we can ask for His guidance, for the strength to face challenges, and for the desire to grow. Even when we feel distant, we can trust that God is close.

The Journey Never Ends

Life is a continuous journey of growth, and there is no “final destination.” Our world is one of movement and progress, and we are called to engage with it fully, even as we accept that we are never truly done evolving. Waiting until we feel “good enough” to be close to God is a mistake—He is already waiting for us, right here, in this moment.

By making God our constant companion, we find the strength, resilience, and love to face whatever life brings. Our connection to Him doesn’t depend on our perfection; it depends on our willingness to show up, as we are, and to keep moving forward with faith.

May we all find peace in who we are and the courage to keep growing with faith and compassion.

Marriage is often described as a journey—a path filled with moments of joy, discovery, and love. Yet, this journey also demands that we navigate the challenging terrain between our ideals and the realities we face each day. As we walk this path, we may encounter unexpected obstacles that test our resolve and patience. However, these very challenges, when met with understanding and commitment, can lead us to deeper connections and greater fulfillment in our marriages.

Goals vs. Expectations: Understanding the Difference

In any marriage, distinguishing between goals and expectations is essential. Goals represent our long-term aspirations, like building a deep and meaningful connection with our spouse. Expectations, on the other hand, are the day-to-day assumptions we hold about how our relationship should look and feel. Unmet expectations can lead to frustration, but they also offer an opportunity for growth.

Consider the Jewish concept of shalom bayit—peace in the home. While peace is a goal we all strive for, our expectations of what peace should look like can sometimes cause discord. For example, we might expect our spouse to know exactly what we need without having to communicate it, leading to disappointment when that doesn’t happen. But if we approach our expectations with flexibility and open communication, we pave the way for mutual understanding and a stronger bond.

“In every challenge lies the potential for growth and deeper connection.” — The Lubavitcher Rebbe

When we approach difficult conversations with this mindset, recognizing that our spouse may have different expectations and needs, we can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for connection and alignment.

The Commitment to a Lifelong Journey

Marriage is best understood as a journey, one that involves continuous movement, growth, and learning. This journey is not just about enduring the tough times but about actively seeking ways to enhance the connection with your spouse. This connection encompasses emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions.

Reflecting on the story of Adam and Chava, we see that their relationship, like ours, was designed to be complex and challenging—a microcosm of our relationship with the Divine. The Talmud teaches that a husband and wife must work together to build their home, just as we must work to build our relationship with God. This partnership requires effort, patience, and a willingness to grow together.

“A home should be filled with light—both the light of Torah and the light of harmony and love between husband and wife.” — The Lubavitcher Rebbe

This light doesn’t come from ignoring challenges, but from confronting them with the intention of growing closer together, spiritually and emotionally.

It’s essential to remember that while enjoyment is an important component of a relationship, it’s not the ultimate goal. The higher purpose is connection, which fulfills our deepest needs. This connection is what we strive for in our marriages, and it’s what sustains us through the ups and downs of the journey.

Confronting the Real Challenges