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Do you love to do acts of kindness? Whether it’s a group of women organizing a bake sale, a rabbi visiting the geriatric ward, or a selfless individual donating a kidney, Jews are renowned for their extraordinary capacity for kindness. Remarkably, Israel has the highest ratio of altruistic kidney donors in the world—a powerful testament to this value.

From gemachs (free-loan organizations) to global charities, kindness is not just something we do; it’s who we are.

It’s no surprise that King David declared, “The world is built on kindness” (Olam chesed yibaneh, Psalms 89:3). Kindness is the foundation of creation and essential for sustaining the world.

But what if kindness doesn’t come naturally to you? Maybe you aspire to be more giving but struggle to make it part of your routine. Or perhaps, with the emotional toll of war and uncertainty, your motivation to keep giving—whether cooking for soldiers, praying for hostages, or donating to Israel—has begun to fade. Burnout is real, and it’s human.

If you’re looking for ways to stretch your kindness muscles without depleting yourself, here are some practical and sustainable approaches.

1. Focus on Small Acts

You don’t need grand gestures to be kind. Everyday moments are full of opportunity.

Smile. A warm smile, holding the door, or offering a sincere compliment costs nothing but can change someone’s day.

Start at home. Kindness often begins within your own walls. Avraham, the embodiment of chesed, tended carefully to Sarah’s burial. Likewise, family kindness matters—listening to a child, helping a spouse, or sharing meaningful time together.

Be kind to yourself. Compassion must include you. You can only give sustainably when your own cup is full.

2. Do What Comes Naturally

Kindness doesn’t look the same for everyone.

Play to your strengths. If you love cooking, make meals for someone in need. If you’re creative, write notes of encouragement or send thoughtful messages.

Stretch—but gently. Growth sometimes requires stepping outside your comfort zone, but focusing on acts that feel authentic keeps giving joyful rather than draining.

Spiritual kindness counts. Not all kindness is hands-on. Prayer, lighting a candle, or learning Torah in someone’s merit are powerful acts of chesed. The Talmud teaches that spiritual connection is among the greatest kindnesses.

“Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” (Proverbs 21:21)

3. Build Your Identity Around Kindness

Kindness isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you are becoming.

Notice what you already do. Don’t discount small acts. Acknowledge them and how they make you feel.

Start small and stay consistent. Habit shapes character. Tiny, repeated acts can transform you over time.

Strengthen relationships. Kindness builds trust, deepens connection, and creates community.

Be a good listener. Sometimes the kindest gift is presence—listening without fixing, judging, or rushing.

And remember to extend kindness inward. You are no less deserving of compassion than anyone else.

Acts of kindness are more than mitzvot; they are a legacy passed through generations. As the Talmud teaches (Yevamot 79a), Jews are inherently merciful, compassionate, and kind—a reflection of God’s own attributes.

When we engage in kindness—through small gestures, spiritual efforts, or courageous acts—we sustain the world and fulfill our deepest calling. The world is built on kindness.

And so are we.

“One who is slow to anger is better than a mighty warrior, and one who rules his spirit is better than one who captures a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)

Do you have memories of moments when anger led you to say something hurtful or do something you later regretted? Anger can feel overwhelming, and its consequences can linger for years, leaving a trail of pain in its wake.

The Talmud equates losing control in anger with idol worship, because it represents surrendering power to emotion instead of maintaining faith and self-mastery. This striking comparison highlights just how consuming anger can be.

Learning to calm yourself when anger strikes is essential for emotional balance, healthy relationships, and avoiding regret.

But what happens when we lose control? Why do we react so explosively—and what can we do about it?

The Brain’s Role in Anger

Psychologist Dan Siegel describes the difference between the “animal brain” and the “cerebral brain.” When you feel threatened, the instinctive part of the brain takes over. Your heart rate rises, adrenaline surges, and you react impulsively—even when there is no real danger.

To calm down, you must learn to self-regulate by engaging the more rational, mature part of the brain. This is a skill that can be developed with practice.

Here are practical tools to help you nip anger in the bud:

1. Know Your Triggers

Are you walking into a room with someone you have tension with? Are you hungry, overtired, or overstimulated? Awareness is your first line of defense.

Before entering a potentially charged situation—or even as you feel tension rising—pause and consider how your reaction could affect your relationships or goals.

Try identifying the root of the anger. Ask yourself: What am I actually upset about? Is it hurt, unmet expectations, or feeling disrespected? Naming the emotion engages your logical brain and can immediately lower intensity.

Since you can’t always prepare in advance, the following tools can help in the moment.

2. Use Physical Tools to Calm Down

When anger is activated, the body is in a primal state. Addressing the physical response first often helps restore control.

Try deep breathing: inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for four, and exhale through your mouth for four. Breathe into your belly rather than your chest. This signals safety to the nervous system.

Small physical actions can also reset your state. There’s a well-known story of a rabbi who would change his coat when anger rose—symbolizing a shift in mindset. You might try sipping a warm drink, washing your face, taking a brisk walk, or doing physical movement.

Be mindful of body language. Lower your tone, avoid pointing or grabbing, and use “I” statements rather than blame. Say, “I feel frustrated,” instead of, “You always do this.”

3. Slow Down

Sometimes the wisest response is no response—yet.

When anger surges, resist the urge to react immediately. Give yourself time. Walk away if needed. Many issues do not require instant resolution, especially in marriage or parenting.

Allowing hours—or even days—before addressing an issue often leads to calmer, wiser conversations. Learn to sit with unresolved tension instead of rushing to fix it.

4. Sit with Discomfort

Not every uncomfortable feeling requires immediate action. Learning to tolerate discomfort without reacting is a powerful skill.

Practice noticing the sensation of anger without acting on it. Gently explore what it’s teaching you. Over time, this trains the brain to perceive fewer situations as threats, reducing impulsive reactions.

5. Create Mantras or Affirmations

Anger often stems from insecurity or rigid thinking. Knowing your emotional weak spots allows you to prepare grounding phrases in advance.

Try repeating:

• “This too shall pass.”
• “Temporary mess is okay.”
• “My relationship is more important than being right.”
• “I am safe; I can handle this.”
• “People are more important than things.”
• “My way isn’t the only way.”

Choose what resonates with you. Combine affirmations with deep breathing for best results.

Anger doesn’t have to control you. By understanding your triggers, calming your body, slowing your reactions, and practicing self-awareness, you can respond in ways that align with your values.

Remember: “Who is strong? One who conquers their inclination.” (Pirkei Avot 4:1)

You have the power to choose your response.

Anxiety. If you’ve experienced it, you know just how overwhelming and unpleasant it can be. When anxiety rears its ugly head, you need relief—and you need it fast. Sure, there are medications or distractions that might help in the moment, but what about trying these healthy, effective methods to calm your mind and bring you back to center?

Here are three basic meditations that you can do in the moment that really work.

Start with Deep Belly Breathing

For all three exercises, the starting point is taking deep breaths (breathtaking! 😉 It may sound simple, but before we even start with the mind, we approach the body. Mindful breathing is one of the most powerful tools for easing anxiety. When you focus on your breath, it anchors you to the present moment and helps quiet the mental chaos.

How to do it: Inhale deeply for four counts, hold your breath for four counts, and exhale slowly for six counts. Repeat this cycle a few times. Aim to breathe deeply into your belly, feeling it expand with each in-breath.

Breathing grounds you to the here and now, giving your mind a focal point. This practice isn’t just modern mindfulness; it has roots in Torah as well. The Hebrew word for breath, neshama, shares its root with the word for soul. Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak Kook taught that focusing on your breath connects you with your inner spirit, reminding you that your essence is calm and whole.

1. Cloud Exercise

This guided imagery practice first allows you to calm the body and mind. Then the next step is designed to gently allow your feelings to surface… in a safe way with curiosity and without judgment.

Imagine yourself looking up at a sky filled with beautiful clouds, watching each cloud pass by. Each cloud represents a worry, problem, or difficult feeling in your life. Notice that they are passing by, symbolizing how temporary our challenges truly are.

If you feel ready, choose one cloud and gently examine it. Allow yourself to feel the associated emotion without pushing it away. You might let it pass, or explore it more deeply. Ask yourself: “Is there a gift or lesson in this challenge? Something positive I can gain from this problem?”

2. Turn Your Worry Into a Prayer

Once you’ve calmed your body with breathing and entered a more relaxed space, allow yourself to gently explore what’s on your mind. Is it about something uncomfortable from yesterday? A worry about a child? A fight you had with your husband? Stress at work?

Allow the feeling to surface, and then gently send up a silent prayer: “Please let my boss be kind to me today.” “Please give me wisdom to navigate this relationship.”

This practice transforms anxiety into connection, shifting your mindset from helplessness to trust.

3. My Thoughts Affect My Feelings

This may sound overly simple, but its power becomes clear only when you try it in real time—when you’re anxious, nervous, embarrassed, fearful, or feeling inadequate. In these moments, silently repeat to yourself many times: “My thoughts affect my feelings.”

Why does this work? It’s based on the deep truth that our emotional state is shaped by how we interpret and think about events—without needing to challenge the thoughts directly. This gentle awareness begins to shift the emotional experience.

Some More Useful Habits

Morning Check-In: Before turning on your phone, notice how your chest and shoulders feel. What’s on your mind? Gently explore with curiosity and take a few deep breaths.

Periodic Check-Ins: Throughout the day, pause to relax your shoulders, ask yourself what’s bothering you, and take three deep breaths.

Practice Smiling: Life throws challenges, but a simple smile can help shift your mindset. You’ve got this!

Finding Calm in the Storm

Anxiety can feel like a storm, but these exercises act as your anchor—keeping you steady until the storm passes and giving you something tangible to process the emotions that anxiety often suppresses.

Whether you’re breathing deeply, transforming worry into prayer, recognizing the effect thoughts have on your feelings, or gently exploring suppressed emotions—you’re not just managing anxiety. You’re reclaiming your inner calm.

And remember, like King David, you’re never truly alone in your struggles. Your soul, connected to God, holds a quiet strength waiting for you to tap into.

Are emotions just random waves that toss us around — or something deeper, maybe even sacred? In Jewish thought, emotions aren’t a side note. They’re central to who we are and how we grow. Our feelings aren’t here to control us — they’re here to guide us.

Emotions: A Gift from the Soul

We all know emotions can be messy — one minute you’re inspired, the next you’re anxious or frustrated. But Judaism teaches that emotions aren’t mistakes in the system. They’re messages from the soul. They connect us to God, to others, and to our true selves.

Jewish tradition explains that the soul has different layers — from the physical to the spiritual. The emotional layer (Ruach) sits right in the middle. It’s the bridge between our physical needs (Nefesh) and our spiritual essence (Neshama). That means your emotions aren’t random. They’re where heaven and earth meet inside you.

Why God Cares About Your Feelings

God doesn’t want perfection. He wants your heart. Emotions are what make our connection with Him real.

• Love inspires us to give and connect.
• Joy opens our hearts and makes space for gratitude.
• Even sadness, when handled with honesty, can lead to incredible growth.

Mitzvot (commandments) are designed to shape and elevate those emotions. Lighting Shabbat candles can turn chaos into calm. Giving tzedakah transforms tension into compassion. Judaism doesn’t ask us to hide emotion — it teaches us how to use it.

Immature vs. Mature Emotions

We all have emotional moments we’re not proud of — jealousy, anger, fear. These are immature emotions: focused on survival and ego.

Mature emotions, on the other hand, look outward. They’re guided by values like compassion, patience, and love.

The goal isn’t to suppress “bad” emotions; it’s to grow through them. Feeling frustrated? Use it as fuel to act with purpose. Feeling jealous? Let it remind you what you truly want to create in your own life.

From Destruction to Construction

Judaism also distinguishes between emotions that break down and those that build up.

• Destructive emotions (like anger or despair) leave us stuck.
• Constructive emotions (like gratitude, hope, and love) move us forward.

A powerful example is Chana, from the Book of Samuel. She was childless and heartbroken, so consumed by sadness she couldn’t eat. Her husband tried to comfort her — but nothing helped.

Then Chana made a choice. She stood up, ate, and prayed. Her prayer was raw, emotional, and real. The Maharal explains that her prayer worked because she channeled her emotions toward something higher.

Her sadness became strength. Her pain became prayer.
That’s the power of emotional growth.

3 Practical Ways to Elevate Your Emotions

1. Name what you feel.
   Instead of saying, “I’m upset,” try naming it: “I feel disappointed,” “I feel lonely.” Naming emotions turns chaos into clarity.
2. Pause before reacting.
   Before responding, take one deep breath. Ask yourself: What would my best self do here? That one pause can change everything.
3. Turn emotion into connection.
   Feeling something big? Use it as a bridge — pray, call someone, give, create, or help. Every emotion has the potential to become an act of love.

The Bottom Line

Your emotions aren’t obstacles. They’re invitations. They show you what matters, where you’re stuck, and where you’re meant to grow.

Judaism teaches that emotions are the soul’s secret power — the most human part of us, and the most divine.

So the next time you feel something deeply, don’t push it away. Listen. Learn. And lift it higher.

What if every little irritation or joy in your relationship wasn’t about your partner, but about you? Think of your relationship as a mirror that reflects both your best self and the parts that need a little polish. Ready to turn love’s reflections into powerful tools for self-growth and mutual support? Let’s dive into how each moment with your partner is a chance to become the person you’re meant to be!

Relationships as Reflections of Self-Growth

Marriage and close relationships act like mirrors, showing us parts of ourselves we might not otherwise see. They reveal both strengths and areas for growth, giving us the opportunity to become more compassionate, understanding, and patient.

How Relationships Reveal Your True Self

Often, our reactions to our partners point back to us. For example, if it frustrates you when your partner leaves dishes in the sink, pause and consider why it bothers you. Is it about feeling unsupported with chores, or perhaps a deeper need to feel appreciated? Each reaction becomes an invitation to explore what you need and what you might work on. Instead of immediately reacting, take a moment to reflect and respond thoughtfully.

Marriage as a Unique Mirror

In marriage, the reflections are even more profound because your partner sees the full range of who you are. The Torah teaches, “As water reflects a face, so the heart of man reflects man” (Proverbs 27:19). Just as water shows your reflection, relationships reveal your inner state.

For example, if you feel hurt when your spouse forgets to check in about plans, use it as a chance to reflect: “Why am I feeling this way? Do I need to share my expectations more clearly, or work on letting go?” These reflections encourage patience, empathy, and clarity.

This idea aligns with a teaching from the Baal Shem Tov, who said that when you see a fault in another, it often mirrors something within yourself. So, if you feel bothered by your spouse’s judgmental remarks, consider whether you, too, might be overly critical—either of others or yourself. Instead of focusing on changing your partner, explore how you can refine your own reactions and behaviors.

Building Self-Awareness for Healthier Relationships

Self-awareness is key to growing in relationships. Instead of letting frustrations simmer, try asking yourself, “What’s really bothering me?” For instance, if a messy room triggers you, is it really about the clutter, or is it about feeling overwhelmed? Understanding your true feelings helps you address them directly, making it easier to communicate calmly and effectively with your partner.

Taking Care of Yourself to Strengthen Your Relationships

When you nurture yourself—emotionally, physically, and spiritually—you’re better equipped to show up for others. Jewish teachings encourage caring for both body and soul, reminding us that we give most effectively when we feel whole.

Start small: try five minutes of gratitude or deep breathing each morning. This grounding practice helps you approach your partner with more patience and compassion, even during challenging moments.

Respecting Each Other’s Journey

Supporting each other’s personal journey is crucial for a healthy relationship. Rather than trying to change your partner, focus on ways to encourage them.

If your partner is working on being more punctual but occasionally runs late, try acknowledging their effort by saying, “I noticed you’re trying to be on time, and I appreciate it.”

This kind of positive reinforcement creates a safe, encouraging space for growth. When you approach each other with acceptance, you both feel motivated to improve without feeling pressured.

Jewish Teachings on Self-Growth and Relationships

Jewish tradition teaches that relationships are divine paths for growth. The concept of teshuva (returning to your best self) reminds us that every interaction offers a chance to become better. The Maharal taught that each of us is naturally drawn to purify ourselves and strive toward our highest self.

In marriage, you journey together, supporting each other’s growth and development toward greater kindness, understanding, and strength.

Turning Challenges into Opportunities

Challenges in relationships aren’t setbacks; they’re opportunities to grow closer. Imagine that one partner feels neglected because the other often spends time on their phone. Instead of reacting with frustration, this could be a chance to say, “I miss our time together.”

A gentle approach like this transforms a challenge into a chance to deepen your connection.

When Relationships Don’t Follow the “Normal” Path

Some relationships aren’t mutual or healthy, which requires a different approach. If you’re dealing with constant disrespect, manipulation, or harm, your growth might mean setting boundaries, standing up for yourself, or stepping back for your well-being.

Personal growth and resilience are still possible, but safety comes first. Seek outside support if needed.

Practical Steps to Grow in Your Relationship

1. Weekly Gratitude Practice: Choose a weekly moment to think of three things you appreciate about your partner and share them.

2. Self-Compassion Check-In: When you feel critical of yourself, pause to recognize something positive within.

3. Breathing Through Frustration: During a moment of irritation, take five deep breaths and ask, “What’s really going on here?”

4. Daily Time to Connect: Spend at least 10 minutes a day connecting with your partner, distraction-free.

Final Thoughts

Relationships are a journey with potential for deeper love, patience, and faith. By focusing on your own middot (traits), you create an environment for growth. Each moment together becomes an opportunity to strengthen not only your relationship but also your own spiritual path.

May your relationships reveal both the beauty and potential within, building a life of mutual support, kindness, and growth.

What does it mean to be called a “Jew”? Being a Jew—being part of the people who descend from Judah—is much more than just a label; it’s a powerful statement of identity, resilience, and purpose.

The term “Jew” comes from the tribe of Yehuda (Judah), one of the twelve tribes of Israel. After the kingdom split following King Solomon’s reign, the southern kingdom—made up primarily of Judah, Benjamin, and some Levites—became known as the Kingdom of Judah. Over time, the term “Yehudi” (Jew) expanded to refer to all Israelites, regardless of tribal descent, symbolizing a shared destiny, covenant, and national identity.

But the word “Jew” isn’t just historical. Spiritually, it holds deep meaning. “Yehudi” comes from the Hebrew root lehodot, meaning “to thank.” To be Jewish is, at our core, to be a people of gratitude.

Our name reflects a mindset of acknowledgment, purpose, and faith. Jews are known for chutzpah—courage, boldness, perseverance—but beneath it all lies deep compassion, optimism, and a profound loyalty to God. Gratitude has sustained us through centuries of hardship and triumph.

The Spirit of Gratitude: “Gam Zu L’Tovah”

Jewish resilience is not simply survival—it’s seeing life with hope and gratitude. Nachum Ish Gamzu taught, “Gam zu l’tovah”—this too is for the good. Rabbi Akiva echoed this, saying, “Everything God does is for the best.” These teachings weren’t naïve optimism; they expressed a belief that every experience carries meaning.

Rabbi Akiva’s devotion went so far that when he faced martyrdom, he recited the Shema with joy, grateful for the chance to fulfill his faith. His legacy reminds us that to be a Jew is to hold gratitude as a guiding force, even in sacrifice.

Gratitude in Every Circumstance

In Judaism, gratitude isn’t limited to moments of joy. We thank God in painful moments as well. The Talmud teaches that one who dies sanctifying God’s name reaches the highest spiritual heights. Throughout history, Jews sang on their way to exile or even in concentration camps—testimonies to an unshakable inner wellspring of faith.

Today, too, we witness incredible acts of courage and devotion—soldiers and civilians who risk their lives for Am Yisrael with surprising joy, pride, and purpose. This, too, is part of what it means to be a Jew.

Expressions of Gratitude

Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi teaches that Jewish gratitude has many layers, each reflecting a different relationship with God. Just as Inuit languages have many words for “snow,” revealing its significance, our many expressions of gratitude reveal its centrality to Jewish identity.

1. Lehodot – To Thank in Recognition

The simplest form of gratitude—recognizing and appreciating the blessings before us.

2. Lehalel – To Praise Even in Darkness

A higher level—praising God even when we don’t understand the plan, trusting that everything holds purpose.

3. Leshabeach – To Ask for More

True gratitude creates longing for continuity. When something is good, we naturally want more of it—not from greed, but because joy wants to expand.

4. Lekales – To Publicize Miracles

Sharing the miracles in our lives spreads gratitude and inspires others to recognize God’s kindness.

5. Levarech – To Recognize Everyday Miracles

Blessing God for the ordinary—the sunrise, breath, family, food—cultivates awe in the everyday.

6. Leromem – To Elevate and Uplift

The highest level: gratitude that elevates us spiritually, inspiring us to live with holiness and purpose. This is the gratitude of people like Joseph, who saw God’s presence in every moment of his life.

A Legacy of Thankfulness

To be a Jew—part of the Yehudim—is to embody gratitude in all its forms. Leah named her son Yehuda as an expression of profound thanks, and from him came an entire people whose identity is rooted in acknowledgment and appreciation.

Our ancestors, our sages, and our modern heroes teach us that gratitude is not an emotion—it’s a way of life. Even in suffering, we say “Thank You.” Even in uncertainty, we say “Thank You.” Even in joy, we say “Thank You.”

In a world searching for happiness, Judaism teaches that simcha—true joy—flows from gratitude. We are not just a people who survived; we are a people who sing, praise, and thank, even when the path is hard.

To be a Jew is to carry this legacy forward—to look at life, with all its beauty and pain, and say: “Thank You—for everything. For life, for purpose, for challenges, for gifts, for being with us always.”

This is what it means to be a Jew: to live with gratitude, to find meaning in every moment, and to walk with God through every chapter of our story.

Are you happy? Many people today search for an elusive “happiness” that feels out of reach. Judaism offers a more meaningful concept: simcha. Rabbi Yussi Zakutinsky teaches that simcha is not just joy—it’s a deep, vibrant sense of being alive and connected.

Defining Simcha Through Its Opposite: Depression

In Judaism, the opposite of simcha isn’t sadness, but atzvut—numbness or depression. After Adam’s sin, the Torah introduces itzavon (pain, sadness), teaching that emotional disconnection stems from distance from God.

Simcha, by contrast, is the emotional experience of connection—to God, to life, and to your inner purpose. You can feel simcha even through pain, as long as you remain spiritually alive and present.

Simcha as Life Itself

The Maharal of Prague explains that the Torah’s three major festivals—Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot—are times of joy because they celebrate the cycle of life. Joy is linked to vitality.

The Zohar teaches that the Jewish heart has two chambers: one laughing, one crying. Feeling both deeply is what creates simcha. Depression is emotional stillness—no tears and no laughter.

Wholehearted Presence: The Key to Simcha

In Kabbalah, da’at means deep, conscious presence—engaging fully with the moment. When your actions align with your purpose, you experience simcha.

Rabbi Mordechai Becher explains that joy arises when you feel: “This is why I’m here.” When you act with passion and intention, you live with vibrancy.

Simcha and Mitzvot: Finding Joy in Your Purpose

Mitzvot connect you to your Creator. The Arizal taught that sadness obstructs spiritual connection, while joy opens the soul.

Rav Kook describes Torah observance as an “overpowering spiritual energy” flowing from the soul. When you act with purpose, you experience inner alignment—and that alignment is simcha.

Fragmentation leads to atzvut. Immersion leads to joy.

Building a Life of Joy

Simcha takes ongoing effort. Rabbi Nachman said you must actively pursue joy because sadness comes naturally. Joy builds resilience and strengthens your inner life.

The greatest source of joy is your eternal connection to God. This bond cannot be broken. When you remember this truth, you can access simcha even in difficulty.

Striving for Simcha: More than Happiness

Simcha is not happiness—it’s purpose, presence, and soulful alignment. When you live with intention and connection, you unlock the deep joy that comes from being fully alive.

In a world that pushes us to do more, be more, and excel in every role, self-criticism can feel like an unavoidable companion. But by harnessing the power of your mind, you can transform your thoughts, quiet the inner critic, and cultivate self-compassion and resilience.

And when you approach yourself with kindness, you’re better able to extend the same warmth and understanding outward.

1. Escaping the Trap of Perfectionism

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s all too easy to absorb unrealistic expectations without even realizing it. You may not notice how society’s subtle pressures to be perfect infiltrate your mind, influencing how you view yourself.

This constant push can lead to a mental loop of self-criticism, where even minor mistakes become amplified. Self-awareness offers a powerful antidote. By slowing down and observing your inner landscape, you can begin to recognize when these thoughts arise, giving you the chance to respond with understanding instead of judgment.

Reflective Exercise

Take five minutes each day to sit quietly, close your eyes, and tune into your thoughts. Notice if they are encouraging or critical. When a thought like “I’m not doing enough” arises, respond by saying, “I hear you, but I am doing my best.”

Recognizing your limitations doesn’t just soften your inner voice—it empowers you to grow without being weighed down by self-criticism.

2. The Power of Perspective in Relationships

Your thoughts influence your relationships more than you may realize. When frustrations or judgments arise, they subtly shape your interactions—even without being spoken.

Reframing your thoughts can shift your emotional response and open the door to compassion.

Quick Reframing Exercise

When a negative thought arises, ask: “What’s the story I’m telling myself?” Consider a kinder interpretation. This shift can transform frustration into empathy and deepen your connection.

3. Turning Inward for Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional well-being, yet it’s easy to confuse thoughts and emotions. When you turn inward and explore your reactions, you gain clarity and create space for healthier communication.

Self-Reflection Exercise

When triggered, ask yourself: “What’s really going on for me?” Identify underlying emotions and approach conversations with honesty rather than blame.

4. Practicing Self-Compassion and Growth

Self-compassion goes against instinct for many people. Instead of harsh self-criticism, practicing gentle acknowledgment of mistakes helps foster resilience and openness to growth.

Self-Compassion in Action

Try saying: “I made a mistake, and that’s okay. I’ll learn from it.” This mindset encourages responsibility without unnecessary shame.

5. Building Moments of Meaning and Joy

Joy is not simply the absence of negativity—it’s something you can actively cultivate through gratitude, presence, and small moments of delight.

Simple Practice for Joy

Each night, reflect on three things you’re grateful for. Over time, this cultivates abundance and softens the pull of comparison or scarcity.

As “Duties of the Heart” teaches, gratitude strengthens both faith and inner resilience.

By practicing mindfulness, self-compassion, and gratitude, you can transform how you experience challenges, relationships, and yourself. Step by gentle step, you can build a life rooted in clarity, purpose, and joy.

See article on Aish: Think Better, Feel Better

How Rabbi Noah Weinberg’s five levels of pleasure correspond to the five levels of the soul.

Rabbi Noah Weinberg, a visionary Jewish educator and founder of Aish, taught “The Five Levels of Pleasure,” a framework for understanding human desire and prioritizing meaningful joy over fleeting gratification. He guided people through a hierarchy of pleasure—from physical satisfaction to encountering the Divine.

All human beings seek pleasure, but not all pleasures are equal. A fulfilling life depends on learning to pursue higher, more lasting pleasures that align with the soul’s purpose. While physical pleasures have their place, they are meant to propel us toward deeper forms of joy. Through meaningful relationships, purposeful living, creativity, and connection to God, we experience a far richer and more enduring sense of fulfillment.

Bracha Goetz explains that each level of pleasure corresponds to a different level of the soul.

According to Jewish mystical teachings, the soul has five levels:

1. Nefesh – The basic life force connected to action and survival. Located in the blood, it drives our physical needs such as eating, sleeping, and self-preservation.

2. Ruach – The emotional core, centered in the heart. This is where feelings, moral awareness, and emotional depth reside.

3. Neshama – The spiritual intellect, associated with the mind. It is the source of wisdom, introspection, awe, gratitude, and awareness of God.

4. Chaya – A transcendent level of life force beyond conscious intellect and emotion. It reflects a higher awareness and connection to the Divine.

5. Yechida – Absolute oneness. The deepest level of the soul, bound directly to God and untouched by sin.

The first three levels—Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshama—are experienced in daily life through action, emotion, and spirituality. Chaya and Yechida transcend the physical plane and are more difficult to access consciously.

Rabbi Weinberg’s five levels of pleasure mirror these five soul levels:

1. Physical Pleasure – Nefesh

The most basic pleasures come from physical sensations—good food, rest, comfort, and enjoyment of the senses. These pleasures are immediate but short-lived. When used wisely, they nourish the body and energize the spirit. When overindulged, they can leave a sense of emptiness.

2. Love – Ruach

This level involves emotional connection—giving, appreciating others, and forming deep bonds. Love creates belonging and oneness. Unlike physical pleasure, love is enduring and nourishes the emotional soul.

3. Meaning – Neshama

Meaningful action nourishes the neshama. Living with intention, contributing to something greater than yourself, and aligning your actions with your values brings a deep sense of fulfillment that goes beyond emotion into spiritual clarity.

4. Creativity – Chaya

Creativity is the pleasure of expressing your unique purpose in the world. Through wisdom, insight, and contribution, you partner with God in creation. Creativity allows you to bring divine energy into the world in a way only you can.

5. Oneness – Yechida

The highest pleasure is a sense of oneness with God. This connection transcends all others and encompasses them. Moments of awe—birth, nature, the vastness of the universe—offer glimpses of this level, when the soul merges with something infinitely greater than itself.

The deepest pleasures elevate the soul and connect us to the Infinite, nurturing not only the body but the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions of who we are.

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If you’re like most people, you’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents reminiscing about the good old days—when kids spent their afternoons roaming the neighborhood on bikes, no one thought twice about leaving the front door unlocked, and when Dad came home at the end of the day, he was just that: home. They talk about a time before television took over, when children were seen and not heard, and when the world felt simpler—at least in hindsight.

And now, as you watch your own children grow, it’s easy to find yourself doing the same thing. Longing for the 90s, the 2000s, or whatever era feels like your version of “simpler times,” depending on where you land on the Gen X, Millennial, or Gen Z timeline. Parenting must have been easier back then—before the internet ruled our lives, before debates about culture, global terrorism, and the instant-gratification “Amazon mentality.” Add COVID and its lingering impact on mental health, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

Truthfully, you’re not wrong. Parenting today comes with real challenges: screen-time battles, rising anxiety, exposure to inappropriate content, and a level of defiance that can feel exhausting. It’s enough to make anyone wish for a quick ride in Doc Brown’s time machine.

But here’s the other side of the story.

Parenting in 2025 also comes with some remarkable advantages.

1. Emotional Awareness

If there’s one thing the 2020s have done well, it’s bringing mental and emotional health into the open. Many parents today have been to therapy themselves—or at least know people who have—which means we’re entering parenthood with tools our parents didn’t have.

We’re more equipped to communicate, listen, and break unhealthy cycles. Children are growing up in homes where emotions are named rather than dismissed, and where challenges like anxiety or ADHD carry far less stigma. There are clearer conversations around boundaries, safety, and emotional expression.

Yes, children today may challenge authority more openly. The Talmud even predicts this kind of chutzpah as a sign of the messianic era. But perhaps this challenges us to earn respect rather than demand it—to model accountability instead of preaching it.

Even the much-criticized “me culture” has a silver lining. It has taught both parents and children the importance of self-awareness, self-respect, and growth. Healthy modeling matters, and today’s parents are often doing that work consciously.

2. Learning and Growth

Education today is rich with opportunity. Children have access to learning tools and resources that previous generations could only imagine—from interactive platforms to specialized programs that nurture individual strengths.

There is greater awareness around seeking help when needed, whether through tutoring, therapy, or community support. Education has become more holistic, increasingly addressing emotional, physical, and even spiritual well-being. Mindfulness, gratitude, movement, and emotional literacy are finding their way into schools and homes.

Children today are also remarkably innovative. With unprecedented access to information, many are already creating, leading, and building. Entrepreneurial thinking is developing young, showing what’s possible when curiosity meets opportunity.

3. Jewish Pride

In recent years, there has been a noticeable rise in Jewish pride and connection. Ironically, increased antisemitism has strengthened many Jews’ resolve to embrace their identity more openly.

Alongside a general sense of global uncertainty, many families are turning inward—toward faith, community, and shared values. Parents speak about children turning to prayer, teens seeking deeper meaning, and a growing sensitivity toward kindness and responsibility.

There is also renewed pride in Jewish practice and connection to Israel. It’s no longer unusual to see Jews who once felt distant lighting Shabbat candles, putting on tefillin, or wearing tzitzit. Jewish learning and community are more accessible than ever through online classes, virtual gatherings, and global support networks.

This accessibility allows families to strengthen their Jewish identity in meaningful, personal ways—regardless of background or affiliation.

Blending the Best of Past and Present

Parenting in 2025 doesn’t have to mean choosing between old values and new tools. The most powerful approach may be blending both.

Spend time outdoors. Prioritize walks, playgrounds, and screen-free time—especially on Shabbat. Simple games and shared activities create space for real connection.

Use technology creatively rather than fearfully. Share your childhood favorites while showing curiosity about your children’s interests. Let learning and entertainment become something you experience together.

Talk openly about technology and safety, the same way you would teach road safety—honestly, calmly, and with trust.

Model growth and resilience. Children learn far more from how we live than from what we say. Show them kindness, patience, responsibility, and Jewish pride by embodying those values yourself.

Parenting today may be complex—but it also offers a rare opportunity. By integrating timeless wisdom with modern awareness, we can raise children who are grounded, compassionate, resilient, and deeply connected to who they are.